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Mom always cautioned us not to speak ill of the dead. Based on some of the content posted to online memorials and guest books, it looks as if some of us didn’t listen.
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At www.legacy.com, one of America’s largest Web-based memorial services, staff work around the clock screening the 6 million-plus Guest Book entries submitted each year. In 2006, more than 300,000 were deemed “inappropriate” and removed before “going live” in an obituary.

Unacceptable entries range from airing family “dirty laundry” to accusations of misbehavior on the part of the deceased. “She was an awful boss,” “He had a mistress” or “He owed me money” are common themes, as are rehashing old grudges and feuds, says Hayes Ferguson, chief operating officer of Legacy.com.

“Obituaries are a sensitive arena. From day one, we’ve checked entries for content before posting them,” Ferguson says. “What surprised us was when we started getting more and more entries likely to upset grieving families.”

Legacy.com provides online memorial services for more than 300 U.S. newspapers. It counts about 6 million visitors a month. On its site, the company posts obituaries and interactive guest books for one of every two Americans who die each day.

The Web site also features Obit Messenger, an e-mailed obituary-alert service, a directory of funeral homes across the country and other resources. Along with those seeking information on a friend’s or loved one’s death, researchers and genealogists use the site.

Not all pulled postings are malicious, Ferguson says. Some might reminisce about escapades with a bit too much “graphic detail” others could reveal a secret life.

“We had so much fun dancing in the gay bars” or “Our affair was magical,” could be difficult for an unsuspecting husband or wife to read about a departed spouse. Copyright materials such as song lyrics or poems also are not allowed.

“Online memorial sites are fertile hunting grounds for unscrupulous vendors attempting to sell merchandise, goods and even religion to deceased’s loved ones,” Ferguson says. “We employ technology to ensure visitors’ privacy.”

Through the years, the company has developed a system of red flags that alert screeners to problematic entries, as well as expanded its “terms of use,” prominently displayed on the Web site.

To that end, materials that contain “vulgar, profane, abusive or hateful language, epithets or slurs, text or illustrations in poor taste, inflammatory attacks of a personal, racial or religious nature, expressions of bigotry, racism, discrimination or hate” are not allowed.

Neither are items deemed “defamatory, threatening, disparaging, inflammatory, false, misleading, deceptive, fraudulent, inaccurate, unfair, containing gross exaggeration or unsubstantiated claims, violating the privacy rights of any third party, unreasonably harmful or offensive to any individual or community or intended primarily to promote a cause or movement, whether political, religious or other.”

In spite of the challenges of monitoring the vast amount of materials posted at Legacy.com, Ferguson says, the public response has been overwhelmingly positive by families who have lost loved ones and visitors to the site.

Copyright © 2006. The State.